HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM WHEN ON A BUDGET:
1. Go to a 2nd-hand store & buy a pair of used men's work boots, size 14-16 or larger.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine & several NRA magazines..
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots & magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke & Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning & messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
P.S. - I locked all 4 of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.'
INSTALLATION COMPLETE!!!!